I am just tired of being lonely. I'm exhausted. fatigue fills every fiber in me. Frustration. Anger. I don't believe that anyone should be lonely. I can't accept it. Yes, I do have friends and family. But the company that has been eluding me since I was a kid had been… a lover. That is a BIG word. It possesses so many connotations, both good and bad. Positive and negative. Yet, the true meaning is the same. Someone whom you love and loves you back. Such a simple concept. Yet… so elusive.
I have no idea what I should do now. Like I said, I'm out of breath. I'm out of energy to pursue that holy grail of relationship. I am out of the race. And I am getting older. I do miss many people… too many in fact. Those whom I thought could become someone to share my life with. Alas, not a single one of them. They fled… a lot of times even before I opened my mouth. They just ran away. Trying to escape this monster in front of them. Couldn't believe their eyes, they ran and ran. Faster and faster towards the horizon. And I was left alone. Again.